NONKINSENSE

Adventures of an Analog Man in the Digital Universe, with a little help from my friends and relations.

Sunday, December 25, 2005






























Adam Sandler's 'The Hanukkah Song Part I'"Okay... This is a song that uhh.. There's a lot of Christmassongs out there and uhh.. not too many Hanukkah songs. Souhh...I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kidswho don't get to hear any Hanukkah songs. Here we go..."Put on your yarmulke,Here comes Hanukkah!So much funukah,To celebrate Hanukkah!Hanukkah is the festival of lights.Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.When you feel like the only kid in townWithout a Christmas tree,Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me:David Lee Roth lights the menorah.So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah.Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli!Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too.Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew.You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock",'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirkand Mr. Spock -- both Jewish.Put on your yarmulkeIt's time for HanukkahThe owner of the Seattle SupersonicahsCelebrates HanukkahO.J. Simpson - not a Jew.But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew -- he convertedWe got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby.Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish -- not too shabby!Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge isWell he's not, but guess who is -- All Three Stooges!So many Jews are in showbiz,Tom Cruise isn't - but I heard his agent is.Tell your friend VeronicaIt's time to celebrate Hanukkah.I hope I get a harmonicahOh this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.So drink your gin and tonicahAnd smoke your marijuanikah.If you really, really wannakahHave a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!Happy Hanukkah!"
Adam Sandler's 'The Hanukkah Song Part II'Put on your yarmulkeIts time for Hanukkah So much funnaka To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here's a new list of people who are Jewish Just like you and me
Winona Ryder, Drinks Manischewitz wine Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who gives and receives Loads of Hanukkah toys The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too Put them together What a funky bad ass Jew
We got Harvey Keitel And flash dancer Jennifer Beals Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish And yes her boobs are real
Put on your yarmulka Its time for Hanukkah 2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka celebrates Hanukkah
O.J. Simpson Still not a Jew But guess who is, The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew Then he wasn't but now he's back, Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.
Guess who got bar-mitzvahed On the PGA tour No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.
So many Jews are in the show biz Bruce Springsteen isn't But my mother thinks he is.
Tell the world-amanaka It's time for Hanukkah It's not pronounced Ch-nakah The C is silent in Hanukkah So get your hooked on phonica Get drunk in Tijuanaka If you really really wannaka Have a happy happy happy happy Hanukkah!


Ira,
As promised, my Top Five (Secular) Chanukah Favorites:

1. Any of the Adam Sandler Chanukah Songs
2. Light One Candle - Peter, Paul And Mary
3. Feast Of Lights - They Might Be Giants
4. Oh Hanukkah Groove - Frank London Big Band
5. Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - Chris Issak

Happy Chanukah!
Donny