NONKINSENSE

Adventures of an Analog Man in the Digital Universe, with a little help from my friends and relations.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Grasshopper, you can ride from here to Baltimore-Towson and back, all you want, but, unless you lie like a bastard and believe in your own bullshit, you'll only be offered that which you've already done... Go file something, grasshopper, How's that toilet bowl coming ? I sense a Pretzel and Chocolate Chip cookie by my feet.... Oif der tir fun derfolg iz ongeshriben "shtup" un "tsi."

You're bound to run out of fuck you money sometime, grasshopper ?

Dear Ira

Thank you very much for your interest in eSONYee eBMGee MUSIC eENTERTAINMENT. It will take a while for us to evaluate your resume within our organization. Your patience is greatly appreciated.If we find that your qualifications match our needs we will contact you for an interview. Thanks again for your interest in employment with eSONYee BMGee MUSICee eENTERTAINMENT.

Thank you for your interest in eMLBe.com. Your resume will be reviewed and you will only be contacted should we wish to have you interview for an open position. No phone calls, please.

Dear Ira Nonkin,
Thank you for registering for the new PCP (Personal Career Planner). Below, please find your personal login information, remember - it's case sensitive, so please pay attention when entering your username and password:

Ira,
Thank you for sending me your response to our Marketing Assistant position.
We will be reviewing the applications over the next week or so and will be in touch by email if we will want to set up a phone meeting.

Thanks again,
X


Dear IRA NONKIN,
Thank you for considering eTribuneee in your next career move.Over the years we have been commended numerous times by FORTUNEe magazine as one of "America's Most Admired Companies." We believe our people make the difference and that we can provide exciting career opportunities as we continue to grow

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review your qualifications regarding employment possibilities. The interest you have expressed in joining eSiriuse is greatly appreciated.We are currently evaluating the qualifications of all applicants. After careful consideration, we will contact you if your qualifications fit our needs. Again, thank you for your interest in eSiriuse. We wish you success in your future career endeavors.

Thank you for your interest in eGEeeee. We appreciate the time you have taken to present your qualifications to us.
A system generated Candidate Reference Number has been created for you and may be useful to keep for your records. Your Candidate Reference Number is: 8791529898921356468095465491967935978451234569787891568.
We will contact you if there is an interest in discussing employment opportunities. Additionally, we will keep your information on file and it may be evaluated with respect to other positions that become available in the future.
We wish you success in your job search.
eGEeeeeeeeeeeee Human Resources


This message is a confirmation that eJazzee at eLincoln Centeer has received your information. We will review your submission accordingly. Should we find that your work background and experience are an appropriate match to the needs of our position you will be contacted directly.Thank you for your consideration of eJazzee at Lincolne Ceenteer.

Sincerely,
Human Resources

Thank you for submitting your resume to the eNational eBasketball eAssociation.Your information is being carefully reviewed to determine whether your skills and experience will match our current needs. If a match is identified, we will contact you directly. We will also keep your resume and application in our database for 12 months. If you are not contacted about a current opening, we hope you will continue to view our web page at eNBA.com to learn about future openings.Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review your qualifications. We appreciate your interest in the eNBA.
Sincerely,
Human Resources

Dear Ira,

Per your request, we are notifying you of the latest job postings onthe eeMLBee Teams Job Board.======================================== Texas eRangers Job Fair (Seasonal Positions) - February 18, 2006 (Arlington, TX)[ ://baseballjobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teeamwork/r.cfm?i=7753 ]Part Time Premium Services Assistant--Pittsburgh ePirates[ ://baseballjobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teeamwork/r.cfm?i=7732 ]Minute Maid Park Tour Guides - Houston eAstros (Houston, TX)[ ://baseballjobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teeamwork/r.cfm?i=7767 ]Game Day In-Park Host - Clevelande eIndians (Cleveland, OH)[ ://baseballjobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teeamwork/r.cfm?i=7785 ]Accounts Payable Manager - Houston eAstros (Houston, TX)[://baseballjobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teeamwork/r.cfm?i=7742 ]========================================

Thank You, Ira.
Thank you for your interest in ePBS. Your application has been successfully submitted to our system. We will contact you if we need further information or wish to arrange an interview.

The ePBS Human Resources Department

Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding employment with eArbitronInc. Your credentials are being reviewed, and if you are chosen for apersonal interview, we will contact you within the next few weeks. If not, we will retain your information in our active files and will be intouch with you if a suitable vacancy develops.Again, thank you for your interest in eArbitron Inc.

Dear Ira,
Per your request, we are notifying you of the latest job postings onthe eMLBe Teams Job Board.======================================== Administrative Assistant, Player Development and Scouting - Bostone Reed Sox (Boston, MA)[ http://baseballejobs.teamworkonlinee.com/teamwork/r.cfm?i=7807 ]========================================
Please feel free to pass along this email to a friend.