NONKINSENSE
Adventures of an Analog Man in the Digital Universe, with a little help from my friends and relations.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Each journey begins and also ends." - Master Po
". . . the journey through life. . . begins and it ends. Yet fresh journeys go forth. Father begets son who becomes in turn father who begets son." - Po
". . . seek first to know your own journey's beginning and end; seek then the other journeys of which you are a close part. But in this seeking know patience. Wear their traveler's cloak which shelters and permits you to endure." - Master Po
"I wish no trouble." - Caine
"Discipline your body, Grasshopper, that you may find a greater power. . . . Those who surrender themselves find inner strength...When the heart knows no danger, no danger exists. When the soul becomes the warrior all fear melts as the snowflake that falls upon your hand." - Master Po
"'How does one find the strength within himself?' - Caine 'By being one with all that is without himself.'" - Master Po
"That prevails which refuses to know the power of the other. Where fear is, does not danger also live? And where fear is not, does not danger also die? Where the tiger and the man are two, he may die. Yet where the tiger and the man are one there is no fear. There is no danger. For what creature, one with all nature, will attack itself." - Master Po
". . . be yourself and never fear thus to be naked to the eyes of others. Yet know that men so often mask themselves that what is simple is rarely understood. The dust of truth swirls and seeks its own cracks of entry and a tree falling in the forest without ears to hear makes no sound. Yet it falls." Lucky numbers 2,34,17,5,38,49.- Master Po
Did I ever tell you the one about converting a bear, Grasshopper?
Converting a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get
together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their particular religion.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him
first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "You fellows don't even know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear."
