NONKINSENSE
Adventures of an Analog Man in the Digital Universe, with a little help from my friends and relations.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Spill three drops of wine:
1.Blood (Give Blood-Pete Townsend)
2.Fire (Fire-Jimi Hendrix)
3.Pillars of Smoke (Smoke from a Distant Fire-Sanford Townsend ?)
Spill a drop of wine for each of the ten plagues:
1.Blood
Blood in My Eyes for You-Bob Dylan
2.Frogs
It's Not Easy being Green-Kermit
3.Vermin
I Smell A Rat-Buddy Guy
4.Beasts
Beast of Burden-Rolling Stones
5.Cattle Disease
Milk Cow Blues-Robert Johnson
6.Boils
7.Hail
Hail, Hail, Rock n' Rolll-Chuck Berry
8.Locusts
Day of the Locust-Bob Dylan
9.Darkness
Darkness on the Edge of Town-Bruce Springsteen
10.Slaying of the First Born
Killing Floor-Howlin Wolf
A Passover service for the impatient.Opening prayers:Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this. Four questions:1. What's up with the matzoh? 2. What's the deal with horseradish? 3. What's with the dipping of the herbs? 4. What's this whole slouching at the table business? Answers: 1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for makingdecent bread. 2. Life was bitter, like horseradish. 3. It's called symbolism. 4. Free people get to slouch.A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.) The four kinds of children and how to deal with them: Wise child-explain Passover. Simple child-explain Passover slowly. Silent child-explain Passover loudly. Wicked child-browbeat in front of the relatives. Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets fivebucks. The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon theEgyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple,enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.) The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice-you name it.The singing of "Dayenu": If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted theRed Sea, if would've been enough. If he'd parted the Red Sea - (Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.) Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.Thanks again, God, for everything.
